TWO CREDIBILITY GAPS
The extent to which President Johnson has given up whiskey and taken up golf is as debatable as whether Barry Gold-water really would have cut those television cables. As Goldwater claimed to be, LBJ may just have been kidding.
He actually did go nine holes at Burning Tree Club on Saturday, September 23, but he has not played again. It was the first time he had played at all since the early spring of 1964, and it was the first time that he completed a full nine at the club, where President Eisenhower went around so often.
A fellow who has played with the President was asked what LBJ considered a "gimme" putt. "On the green," he replied, and as for the President's swing: "Like he's killing snakes." But LBJ really can hit the ball a long way. It's just that he doesn't know where it's going. He is also the kind of golfer who will skip holes or play them out of order.
Guessers around Washington estimate that if he ever went a full 18 he could not break 100. Ike shot in the 80s and President Kennedy in the 70s, and neither felt it was necessary to abandon the 19th hole.
Getting back to Goldwater, also a golfer, he and his Phoenix Country Club cronies once planted a little loudspeaker in the cup on the 18th green. When a player leaned over to retrieve his putt, a voice from out of the ground would remark, "Lucky shot" or ask, "How come you three-putted?" And another time, serving with the Arizona Air National Guard, he planted a hose in the bed of his commanding officer, then turned it on when the CO got into bed.
Would a man like that cut TV cables?
Rating of football teams and football players is a tricky business and leads to arguments. Until now there has really been no adequate standard of measurement. But a fellow in Albuquerque has come up with something that he calls "The Retailer Rating and Discounter Desperation Poll."
Last week he poked about in the stores and found that: