Patrick answered, "Thanks a lot, Bob. We have just lost our audience."
CAMOUFLAGE AND CONCEALMENT
One man's poison is another man's meat. Ten years ago, when the University of Minnesota was struggling through one more dismal losing season, fans were clamoring for the scalp of Murray Warmath, the unlucky head coach. They even dumped garbage on Warmath's lawn.
This year Minnesota fans are furious again—but this time not about a football coach and not because they want someone fired. They are raging instead at Calvin Griffith, owner of the Minnesota Twins, for his dismissal of Manager Billy Martin after Martin had led the Twins to the American League's Western Division championship. Phone calls, some profane, some vulgar, practically all stridently anti-Griffith, have inundated the Metropolitan Stadium switchboard. There have been avalanches of angry letters to newspapers, obscene anti-Griffith buttons, pro-Martin bumper stickers and even a Ballad of Billy Ballyard, as sung by a Minneapolis hippie guitar combo.
Through it all, Murray Warmath has remained serene. His football team, off to a bad year, has yet to win a game (the Gophers lost 34-7 last Saturday to Ohio State), but nobody is talking about Murray at all, let alone dumping garbage on his lawn.
DON'T STAY LOOSE
Dr. James A. Nicholas, team surgeon of the New York Jets, has a theory that human beings are of two physical types: loose and tight. The loose type is more flexible and agile, the tight type is stronger. The loose type is subject to sprained ankles and torn ligaments. The tight type, more resistant, may break a leg before spraining an ankle. On the Jets, according to a report he made to a sports medicine conference of the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons, there were seven times more ruptures of the knee ligaments among the loose types than the tight types. Joe Namath, for example, is moderately loose, and his three knee operations were predictable.
Dr. Nicholas says his research is still limited, but he holds that people should learn which type they are and either avoid activities for which they are not suited or take necessary precautions. For instance, a loose child who plays basketball should have his ankles wrapped or wear corrective shoes. An extra-loose type should not play basketball at all. (As for Namath, Dr. Nicholas says, "He is a great athlete. He can do what he wants to do with full knowledge of his medical deficiencies.")
There are five tests to determine if you are loose: 1) bend over and touch palms to floor; 2) bend knee the wrong way more than 20 degrees; 3) hold arms out straight with palms up so that the little fingers are higher than the thumbs; 4) turn feet out 90 degrees in the Charlie Chaplin stance: 5) sit comfortably in the lotus position. If you can do these things easily, you're loose, baby.
The doctor thinks that physicians and trainers should develop exercises according to body type in order to improve deficiencies and prevent injuries. He feels that certain traditional exercises are detrimental. For instance, the old duck waddle so popular with football coaches can actually contribute to damage to cartilages in the knee.