"What?" says Slick. "Oh, no. You're leavin' it in. It's cool. What did you do before we were married anyway?"
"I stuck it under my lip," says Neumann. "You're just like all women—kind and lovable before they get married. Now look. She's gained 20 pounds and in the wrong places."
"Before, he says to put on weight," says Slick. "Now he says I look like I'm 40 years old. What is this?"
"Well, you do," says Cool. "It's pitiful. You were a pitiful cook, too, before you learned how. She likes Raquel Welch because her father told her she looked like Raquel. She really looks like Nancy Sinatra in her white boots. When I sign pro, I'm using my bonus money to get her a pink Corvette, because mostly she looks like a Playboy bunny."
Apart from Slick and his Firebird Trans-Am 70, Neumann prizes his wardrobe. It once featured over 50 pairs of slacks and it now has many and various forms of shoes, including red-white-and-blue Corfams, brown knee boots ("Just like Joe Namath's"), solid white suedes, brown and black Italian squaretoe wing tips, black-and-gray button-up spatslike jobs, and—his favorites—imitation alligator-skin boots, their sides upholstered in wide black-and-blue diamond designs.
"Groovy," says Slick.
"Unbelievable," says Johnny Cool. "I used to go out and buy two pairs of slacks and a shirt any day I felt like it. Now that I'm married I can't do that. I have to get an education. We joke about me not studying, but in my Marriage and the Family course we worked three weeks for a term paper on venereal disease."
Besides Marriage and the Family, other courses in his physical-education program cram Neumann's study schedule—School and Community, Algebra, Tennis and a combined course in Golf and Archery. Archery? "I dig Archery," Neumann says. "I got an A in there. That's because we had a good teacher. A good-lookin' hunk of blonde. Was she tough. She said to call her Joan. Man, she could really shoot the bow."
"Hey, Slick, could she shoot it?" says Johnny Cool.
"Shut up," says Slick.