This Week's Effete Easterner Is...
The Manhattan adman who wrote a letter to the Jackson Hole, Wyo. ski area and led off with the greeting, "Dear Mr. Hole...."
It was bound to happen, and it was bound to happen in England: there is a bird over there that is watching people. The London Daily Express reports that a pheasant named Charlie "sits in Joseph Loades' garden studying Loades and Mrs. Loades and their son Ivan." All of them are bird watchers, and at first they thought this was pretty funny. Now they can't open a window without the pheasant zooming over to peck them. If Mrs. L. wants to hang the wash she has to throw corn out the front door and run out the back before Charlie finishes it up. When the family wants to go for a drive the bird stands defiantly in front of the car. ("The trick," says Loades, "is to reverse. Charlie rushes around the back—then we switch into first gear and escape.")
Loades is treasurer of the Norfolk Naturalist Trust and feels that he can't just have a go at Charlie with a shotgun. "It would not look right." Still, at press time Charlie was mysteriously missing. He is either off somewhere watching more people or else the Loades had him in the house. For dinner.
This week's Nothing-in-His-Life-Became-Him-Like-the-Leaving-of-It Award goes to Ron Godfrey, who has retired as Miami's basketball coach. "I hope," Ron said, "that my resignation will help to improve the basketball program."
Things are never dull in Duran-go. Here comes Dean Martin, filming a Western to be called Something Big in which he plays a lovable renegade bandit (as opposed to a lovable Establishment bandit?) who is searching for a woman to swap for a Gatling gun. The script also involves a horse with a mouth full of gold, played by Martin's own horse, Tops. Turns out no other metal can be substituted for gold in a case like this, so a Durango vet fitted Tops with gold caps. Now every night after filming. Tops' gold mouth is removed and deposited in the local bank for safekeeping, just in case he should swallow it. Also in case of bandits. Not lovable renegades, just plain, old-fashioned bandits, who still hang out in the Durango hills. After all, Tops would be a real temptation—sort of horse-thieving and robbing the stage, all in one.
And for our second horsy exclusive: here comes Actor Dustin Hoffman, showing off his horsemanship in Little Big Man. Forget it. It turns out that the horse was stuffed.
Good night to you from Hollywood.