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Most Glittering Sport Soiree of The Week—
They came from everywhere to honor Joe Louis on his 57th birthday, all bellied up to banquet tables at Caesar's Palace on the Las Vegas Strip, where Joe is in residence now. The 1,100 "greats, near-greats and mere mortals," as the invocation put it, paid $100 a plate to hear the stars of stage, screen, etc. sing or otherwise do their thing ( Ed Sullivan's thing was quoting from one of his old columns). The prize for the guest who had traveled farthest to honor Joe went to Max Schmeling, who was sitting there with his old opponent plus such luminaries as Gregory Peck, Anthony Quinn and Ricardo Montalban. Everybody laughed a lot and cried a lot, after which it was left to that old acid-tongue, Don Rick-les, to end the evening with the line, "This is a big thing for me? To come over here between shows and do a free bit for a colored fighter?"
And here is 10-year-old goalie Mark Bolton, "the last line of defense" for the Kingsleigh Methodist Club's soccer team in Leigh, England. Here is Mark with 565 soccer balls, representing the 565 goals that got by him before the season had even ended. The team lost 34 out of 34 matches, by scores such as 33-0,29-0 and 27-1 (yea, Kingsleigh Methodist!), but what Mark said when he faced all the soccer balls in a local factory was, "It doesn't look so many on paper, but there certainly seem to be a lot when you see them all like this."
Yup. And if you want to know the real truth, Mark, 565 doesn't look all that great on paper, either.
Uh huh, maybe not. But we know a bunch of people who seem genuinely willing to settle for less.
Astronaut Deke Slayton mushed up to Anchorage recently with a NASA display and slipped off for a little fishing with NASA's Roy Alford and two Anchorage businessmen, Lee Fisher and Bob Livesay, plus two guides. Deke had just landed three rainbows on the upper Naknek River when a game protection officer nabbed the whole group for fishing inside a closed area. "We were only about 200 yards within the boundary—and we didn't see any signs," Alford said, but inside is inside and everybody was lined up before Magistrate Elmer Harrop. Slayton and Alford were fined $50 apiece, payment suspended, and Slayton also was sentenced to address the Naknek grammar school—which he was scheduled to do anyway. Then Fisher and Live-say were fined $50 each, but their fines were paid by one of the guides, presumably on the grounds that the guides should have known better. As is customary, Harrop confiscated everybody's fishing gear and refused to sell it back.
It would never happen on the moon; right, Deke?