"We've been bringing our own food for five years," said one indignant lady. "Then this year they said all food had to be bought from them. Except desserts. They don't sell desserts."
The lady admitted that she had found a way around the problem. When the Oilers played the Chicago Bears recently, she ordered hot dogs and coffee ($15 for the package) from the caterer. "Then I cooked up some chocolate brownies for dessert, like I always do, and then I added a roast and some salad—enough for 24 people—and had the butler bring it up the back way."
But, hah, an Astrodome official dropped by during the festivities, glowered and said, accusingly, "You brought some food up here, didn't you?"
"Just desserts," the lady said airily, "and a few leftovers."
She won the battle, but now she wonders if she lost the war. There is a waiting list for football skyboxes. When she goes to buy the box next season, will she be looked at coldly and drummed out of the dome, with nothing to show but a roast and some salad and her just desserts?
This should be the last fish story ever about the one that got away. An Australian lady named Agnes Tait was on a party boat fishing for coral trout along the Great Barrier Reef. She and the 11 other ladies on board were startled when a 35-foot humpback whale surfaced near their 37-foot boat, and they became frightened when it began to dive back and forth under it, since they feared it might get tangled in the anchor chain and drag the boat under. On the whale's fourth dive Mrs. Tait felt a pull on her line. The whale surfaced behind the boat and turned toward it. There in his huge lower jaw were the two hooks at the end of Mrs. Tait's 80-pound-test line.
As if aggrieved at this unpleasant intrusion into an afternoon of fun, the humpback slowly moved away. Mrs. Tait gave him line as he did but then, realizing she was never going to land a 70,000-pounder (the rule of thumb for estimating a humpback's weight is a ton a foot) on an 80-pound line, she broke him off.
The moral of the story? Just be sure when you hook into a whale that you have 11 witnesses with you.