One unhappy Mexican said, "For seven years, the spectators behaved. On the eighth, not understanding the danger, they tried for a closer view of the race. For that one mistake, we are out." Another added, "If Pedro were alive, we might have a chance to save the race. Now it is too late."
An 81-year-old British lady named Mrs. Lily Parry teed off at the 95-yard 8th hole of the Pontypridd Golf Course in Wales. Her tee shot went straight, bounced a couple of times, ran up to the cup and dropped for a hole in one. Mrs. Parry's heart sank. Her companions were whooping it up, declaring that she must be the oldest woman ever to make an ace, but Mrs. Parry had made holes in one twice before and, a widow for 10 years, all she could think of was how much it was going to cost her to stand drinks back in the clubhouse.
Isn't it about time to stop the barbarous habit of having the golfer who shot the hole in one treat the crowd? Surely, this is one of the least admirable of defeated man's ploys to get even. Golfers will point out that anyone who fears a hole in one coming on can take out insurance, either formally or through a cooperative program in the club. But that only begs the question. Why shouldn't the insurance be the other way around? Members should be obliged to toast the hole-in-oner and buy him drinks. Maybe even dinner. Maybe for him and his wife and his children and a couple of maiden aunts, if he has any. Make it an occasion for him to remember with pleasure, not dread. After all, for one hole he—or she—was a perfect golfer.
Things do come to an end, don't they? In Sydney, Australia, a two-column advertisement read: "For sale. Twelve-meter yachts, Vim, Gretel I and Gretel II." The ad went on to explain that the proposed sale of the yachting stable that had challenged twice for the America's Cup was the result of a decision not to try again in 1974. Yachtsman Sir Frank Packer explained: "I feel the economic and financial climate, not only in Australia but throughout the world, makes the commitment too onerous to enter into."
The ad was quite practical: "Each has an outfit of sail, gear and spare parts. Vim and Gretel I are afloat...in Sydney Harbour. Gretel II is stored ashore at Newport, Rhode Island. Please direct inquiries to Australian America's Cup Challenge Association, Box 4088 GPO, Sydney, NSW 2001." No prices were given.
TOMORROW AND TOMORROW
Jerry Seltzer of the Roller Derby made a short speech a few weeks back as that bizarre sport neared the end of its season. In light of the admonition voiced so often last Sunday during the seventh game of the World Series, Seltzer's talk was refreshing: "On Saturday of this week [he said] there will be no tomorrow for the 1971 International Roller Derby League Season. That is to say, on Friday of this week there will be a tomorrow for four teams, but that tomorrow will only be Saturday, which will be the last tomorrow for the two teams that survive the day before, which, as you recall, will be the next to the last tomorrow. This is true, of course, in any sudden-death Roller Derby World Series as compared to that other World Series, in which there can be as many as four no tomorrows for a team that has lost the first three games...."
In Roller Derby, Seltzer went on, no one worries "about playing them one at a time or putting on the skates one foot at a time or having it rain on both sides of the field while the wind is blowing only toward the north goalpost. We like to get tomorrow's work done today in the belief that game plans are only effective when you bump and run, rush the net and move the runner along. In conclusion, I'd like to point out that there's plenty of parking available."