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SCORECARD
Edited by Roy Blount Jr.
March 20, 1972
THE GOOSE THAT KILLS
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March 20, 1972

Scorecard

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And I'll always send you mail,
While you're serving time in jail
For throwing the high school basketball game.

SHE'S NOT THE SAME ELEPHANT
Ted DeWayne, owner of a 6,500-pound performing elephant named Bimbo Jr., has collected $6,800 damages in a Los Angeles court from the driver of an automobile that hit Bimbo's trailer in 1969, apparently leaving the elephant with a whiplash injury. It is impossible to be sure of the whiplash, DeWayne conceded, because it is so hard to X-ray an elephant. But DeWayne did establish that the accident caused Bimbo to lose interest in water skiing and dancing.

BUT DON'T BRING BEER CANS

Won't you let me take you on a containerized cruise? The Holland-America Line's most recently launched cruise ship has a capacity of only 300 to 400 passengers—the same as a jumbo jet's. Such a jet will leave New York on a Friday and arrive in Singapore Saturday night. The passengers will be transferred directly to one of the new ships and deposited Sunday night on the beaches of Bali.

"The new tourist operator's dream," explains a Holland-America spokesman, "is to load the tourists in a luxury container, strap them to their chairs and unpack them on board of the same-sized cruise ship." All this should be a reality by July 1973. And the container won't even be left behind on the beaches of Bali, the way those things are on the moon.

SINKING ONE

Never interfere with your wife's attempts to deprive your son of his soccer ball if you are standing in the kitchen. You wouldn't believe what can happen.

Barry Leger of Armley, England weighs 154 pounds. His wife Barbara weighs 98. Their son John is four years old. Mrs. Leger took John's soccer ball away from him the other day because he broke a window with it. Mr. Leger describes what happened next:

"Barbara took the ball and locked it in the cellar. As a joke I grabbed her so John could get the ball back. But she just grabbed me round the neck, took me in a fireman's lift over the shoulder and plonked me in the sink, bottom first."

And there Mr. Leger remained, wedged between the faucets. Neither Mrs. Leger nor the neighbors she summoned could get him out. The fire department had to be called on for help.

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