Scorecard

STAGGERED

Representative Harley Staggers of West Virginia is chairman of a special House subcommittee looking into ways to make the NFL stop the TV blackout of home games. As part of the investigation, Staggers' subcommittee has mailed a lengthy questionnaire to 8,000 season ticket-holders, and some of the first replies, reported by David Brady in The Washington Post, have not been cheering. As a department-store executive wrote to Staggers: "All I can say on the subject is that it is probably a good thing you are a Representative from the state of West Virginia and I cannot vote against you. With all the pressing problems the U.S. has, it would seem to me that you and your elected fellow Representatives could find more meaningful areas to devote your time and effort to.

"As far as your questionnaire on the NFL tickets that I hold, they were bought strictly for my own pleasure and no other reason, and even if the Government had the audacity to...prevent blackouts of local games, I will continue to buy my season tickets."

LOSERS

It was a memorable week for losers whose names start with "P." While UCLA was soaring upwards on its college basketball winning streak, Piedmont College was disappearing in the opposite direction like a jettisoned fuel tank. Before a home crowd in Georgia, Piedmont lost its 47th straight game, an NAIA record.

Meanwhile, the Philadelphia 76ers set an NBA record of 18 straight defeats, not without hilarity. After tying the losing record at Houston Tuesday night, the 76ers decided to stay in sunny San Antonio before playing in Portland Friday night. On Thursday, the temperature dropped from 72� to 22�, and driving rain turned to ice. Flights were promised and then vanished. The airport dusted off an ancient deicing machine to thaw frozen planes. The machine groaned, sputtered and blew up. The 76ers returned to their hotel. Full. They found another and got up early Friday for the airport. No planes available. Back to the second hotel. Full. As the 76ers registered at a third hotel, a phone call triggered a dash back to the airport. On the way, two taxicabs carrying players were involved in separate collisions. Finally at 4 p.m., half a country away from 8 p.m. game time, the 76ers took off, so to speak.

Up in Portland officials were having troubles. Amid the hubbub a bus wheeled up outside Memorial Coliseum. "The 76ers!" someone cried, and there was a rush to greet them. From the bus emerged short, stumpy men, the Fort Worth Wings, a hockey team unloading gear for a game the next night. At 9 p.m. the PA man told the crowd the 76ers were in the building and would be out in a minute. Wrong. The 76ers were two miles down the freeway in a traffic jam caused by a motorcycle show. Finally the 76ers arrived and put on uniforms. The PA man was told to tell fans they could exchange tickets for another game if they wished. The message got garbled, and the PA man advised fans that they could get an immediate cash refund. There was a small-scale exodus to the box office and $1,500 walked out the door. Still, 7,000 stayed to watch the 76ers lose 116-105. Said Tom Van Arsdale, who wore a borrowed jersey, "This is the worst day I've ever had. Change that. The worst two days."

FOLK MEDICINE

Weekend athletes troubled by leg cramps ought to try pinching themselves for relief. That is the word from Milton F. Allen, a sometime tennis player and businessman in Decatur, Ga., who accidentally discovered what he calls the "Acupinch" several years ago when muscle spasms woke him in bed. "At the first sign of a leg-muscle spasm," says Allen, "immediately compress the facial area above the upper lip next to the nose by a sustained broad pinch, not a painful one. For best results, apply this surface pinch promptly with the ball or side of the thumb, and the side of the bent forefinger for a few moments."

Why the Acupinch seems to work no one knows, least of all Allen, who has tried, unsuccessfully so far, to get physicians interested. In the meanwhile Allen has run a couple of newspaper ads asking people to try the technique and then let him know if it works for them. There is no charge involved, and Allen points out that he is a layman not a doctor. According to letters he has received to date, the Acupinch is successful 90% of the time.