Never The Twain Shall Meet

Welcome Aboard!" reads the Jaycec pamphlet. "The Yellowstone River Boat Float...126 Miles of Scenic Beauty, Livingston to Billings." Mark Twain made it an American myth: Huck and Jim on the raft, swapping yarns over corncob pipes, drifting along with the current, free as the river yet bound to it, their lives linked to the mysteries of each unknown channel and meander. It is the sense of freedom combined with an implied risk that makes the myth so popular. "Bring your boats and adventuresome spirit," the Jaycee pamphlet says.

Unfolded, the pamphlet reveals a schedule of events and several snapshots of folks paddling kayaks and canoes and rubber rafts. Slogans abound: "Wet, wild and wonderful." "Anything that floats makes a boat." "Fun in a bunch." One shot of four ladies hiding their bikinis beneath bulging, kapok-filled life vests is captioned, "I'd feel naked without my life preserver!" The myth has been brought home to roost.

July 6, seven p.m.—Registration at launch site on Yellowstone River, Livingston, Mont. Pig barbecue—$1.

The barbecue is rained out. Only a few cars are parked near the stretch of rock-cobbled beach on the riverbend. Three yellow rubber rafts, glazed with rain, already inflated, lie in a line along the bank. On a flatbed trailer, bound with cables like Gulliver among the Lilliputians, is a barge-sized red wooden raft with pontoons made from twin rows of welded 50-gallon oil drums. Nearby four men in down jackets stand drinking beer in a haze of charcoal smoke. Spread across a table in front of them are some tattered shreds of gray meat, possibly pork and seemingly blasted from the animal with dynamite, that identify this as the site of the pig barbecue.

We ask where to register, raising our voices above the tattoo of raindrops on the canvas tarp overhead, and one of the men points to a tent a few yards away. Inside we sign up: a party of four. "You going to register for any of the prizes?" the lady behind the card table asks, eyeglasses glinting with lantern light.

We are told that trophies will be awarded at the end of the float for the largest boat, the largest participating family, most original costume, most original boat, oldest person and for the person traveling farthest to make the trip. We don't qualify in most categories, but Jada is visiting from New York City so we put her down as an entry in the farthest traveler division.

"All the way from New York?" the woman smiles, hugging her parka.

"That's right."

"Well, I hope you have a good time. Don't forget breakfast tomorrow at the fairgrounds."

"We'll be there. Thanks a lot.""