? Gene Mauch, Montreal Expos manager, on Houston's Cesar Cedeno: "The nice thing about Cedeno is that he can play all three outfield positions—at the same time."
? Phil Woosnam, commissioner of the North American Soccer League, discounting fears that Americans find the game bewildering: "The rules are very simple. Basically, it's this: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does."
? Bill Walton, asked about his knee operation described by doctors as minor surgery: "It's always minor when it's on someone else."
? Vice President Gerald Ford, on women playing football: "I have reservations about whether we ought to have women linemen. There are areas where head-to-head competition is not in the best interest of all concerned."
? Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees a golf ball so high: "Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt."