? Dick Vermeil, new UCLA football coach, on the Denver Broncos' John Ralston: "You can't insult Coach Ralston. He relishes the challenge of converting a jerk into a friend."
?Mona Schallau of the Minnesota Buckskins, assessing her tennis game: "My volley is blah. I'm a dead elephant on the court. My serve has no sting and I am confused. Other than that I'm a fine player."
?Penny Ann Early, jockey who embarked on a vigorous training program to regain her riding form: "My vital statistics aren't very vital anymore."
? Robin Yount, 18-year-old Milwaukee Brewer shortstop, asked what he thought of the A's Vida Blue after facing him for the first time: "He's good. I used to watch him on TV when I was a kid."