SI Vault
 
GAMESMANSHIP IN SANTA'S WORKSHOP—A MAN NEEDS A LOT OF NERF TO BUY
Jay Cronley
December 16, 1974
I took my 7-year-old daughter to the place where my mother once scouted my Christmas games, which was a neighborhood store where the proprietor capped paregoric and topped cheeseburgers from behind the same apron.
Decrease font Decrease font
Enlarge font Enlarge font
December 16, 1974

Gamesmanship In Santa's Workshop—a Man Needs A Lot Of Nerf To Buy

View CoverRead All Articles View This Issue
1 2

All my daughter and I were allowed to do was read the boxes of games, or shake them slightly, because everything was sealed. My daughter said Rickey would enjoy at least the boxes of: Pro Draft (Parker Brothers, $8.99) because one of the kids on the block looks like the boy on the cover; ABC Monday Night Football, 1,480 play combinations (Aurora, $11.88) because the child on the box is happy and the adult is morbid in obvious defeat; NFL Electric Football (Tudor, $8.44) because it rattles loudest; Pivot Pool (Milton Bradley Co., $18.99) because Lucille Ball is pictured saying "This is my favorite family game"; Evel Knievel Stunt Stadium (Ideal, $13.88) because there is an ambulance on the box; or Beat Detroit, The Game That Will Crack You Up (Dynamic Design, $8) because there are heaps of wrecked cars on the box.

Turning from the games we found two items that we could touch, Sport Craft table soccer ($285), wrapped only by a clerk's scowl, and a Nerf football, which is smaller than a regulation football and approximately as soft as bananas.

Since there was nothing to do on the soccer table except spin handles and pretend, I told my daughter to run a post route. She ran what was almost a post-mortem route into tennis rackets. I chucked her a Nerf, spiralling it over the dolls. We were obviously intercepted by a hidden camera.

"We do not become personal with, or heave about, the merchandise," a clerk said. "Even after we have bought it. That will be $2.88 plus tax please."

I told my daughter that Rickey gets the purple Nerf.

She said there went her chances.

I said that when he gets to be 18, he can borrow my car and TV Football (Coleco, $7.88), which is billed as The Most Exciting Adult Game in Town.

1 2