All my daughter and I were allowed to do was read the boxes of games, or shake them slightly, because everything was sealed. My daughter said Rickey would enjoy at least the boxes of: Pro Draft (Parker Brothers, $8.99) because one of the kids on the block looks like the boy on the cover; ABC Monday Night Football, 1,480 play combinations (Aurora, $11.88) because the child on the box is happy and the adult is morbid in obvious defeat; NFL Electric Football (Tudor, $8.44) because it rattles loudest; Pivot Pool (Milton Bradley Co., $18.99) because Lucille Ball is pictured saying "This is my favorite family game"; Evel Knievel Stunt Stadium (Ideal, $13.88) because there is an ambulance on the box; or Beat Detroit, The Game That Will Crack You Up (Dynamic Design, $8) because there are heaps of wrecked cars on the box.
Turning from the games we found two items that we could touch, Sport Craft table soccer ($285), wrapped only by a clerk's scowl, and a Nerf football, which is smaller than a regulation football and approximately as soft as bananas.
Since there was nothing to do on the soccer table except spin handles and pretend, I told my daughter to run a post route. She ran what was almost a post-mortem route into tennis rackets. I chucked her a Nerf, spiralling it over the dolls. We were obviously intercepted by a hidden camera.
"We do not become personal with, or heave about, the merchandise," a clerk said. "Even after we have bought it. That will be $2.88 plus tax please."
I told my daughter that Rickey gets the purple Nerf.
She said there went her chances.
I said that when he gets to be 18, he can borrow my car and TV Football (Coleco, $7.88), which is billed as The Most Exciting Adult Game in Town.