? Charley Pell, the new football coach at Clemson University: "I demand just one thing from Clemson players and that is attitude. I want them to think as positive as the 85-year-old man who married a 25-year-old woman and ordered a five bedroom house near an elementary school."
? Walter F. Mondale, Vice-President of the U.S., on why he decided not to go out for the football team at the University of Minnesota: "I was in a lot of sports in high school. But when I went to a football practice and saw the size of some of those people, I went out for the debate team. I've been openmouthed ever since."
? Eddie Einhorn, president of TVS, on televising soccer, which has no timeouts for commercials: "We have to hope that when the ball is kicked out of bounds, it gets lost under a seat for more than 15 seconds."