A List Of Naughty And Nice

Until statisticians of the French Quarter have totaled up all of the divorces, empty wallets, instant wheelchair cases, kidnapped flower girls and lost rent cars at the end of Super Bowl Week next January, the answer to the biggest question in pro football this season—Will Al Davis have to build a two-ring garage?—may not be known.

By then, however, a great many other important things will have been determined. We shall have learned that:

Joe Namath either replaced Pat Haden as quarterback of the Los Angeles Rams or plunged headlong into show business by becoming the resident eel on The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau .

Tony Dorsett became the best "spot player" Tom Landry ever coached.

Bert Jones sold the North Slope, bought United Artists, and returned the phone calls of Cyrus Vance, Carlo Ponti and Dolly Parton.

George Atkinson retired from the game to track down Nazi war criminals in Argentina.

O.J. Simpson stole the ball out of Joe Ferguson's hands often enough to gain 2,546 yards and lead Buffalo to another 2-12 season.

Conrad Dobler so perfected his simultaneous neck bite and leg whip, it was adopted as universal therapy by the country's leading chiropractors.

The diamond-splattered, personally designed, 1977 Super Bowl ring of Oakland's Al Davis, largest of the XI, was subdivided and turned into condominiums and a shopping mall.

Atlanta owner Rankin Smith fired Leeman Bennett and replaced him with Bennett Leeman.