A lawyer, a doctor and an airline pilot went hunting together with their retrievers. The lawyer shot the first duck, sent out his retriever to get it, and the Labrador brought it back promptly. The doctor shot the next duck. He sent his dog, which jumped into the water and retrieved it just as quickly.
A third duck flew by. The airline pilot fired, and the duck went down. His dog went out, picked up the duck, went to an island where he ate it, swam back to the shore, made love to the other two retrievers and then took the next three weeks off.
The Bonneville Salt Flats, famed as the locale for world land speed records, may be finished for racers. A U.S. Geological Survey report issued last week says that the flats have suffered irreversible damage. In recent years the deterioration has become so severe that no one has seriously attempted to break Gary Gabelich's world land-speed record of 622.407 mph set at Bonneville in 1970. G. C. Lines, the geologist who wrote the report, says the raceway is being damaged by natural evaporation of salt, interstate highway construction and potash mining. According to Lines, the potash operation, in which Kaiser Chemical Corporation draws brine from the flats through a series of ditches, is the main factor in causing erosion.
Following release of the report, Gabelich and Don Vesco, who holds the world motorcycle-speed record, staged a press conference in Salt Lake City to plead that the flats be saved. Vesco called for Kaiser to stop the erosion and said, "I can't see putting a lot of people out of work at Kaiser, but they can preserve our part of the raceway and help us. After all, racing was there first."
Gabelich said he had the backing for a car capable of 1,000 mph, "but conditions of the salt at present would make it impossible for me to make a record attempt. There are chuck holes three to four inches deep along the measured mile. If we lose the salt flats—if the United States loses the Bonneville Salt Flats as a racing surface—it is a mortal sin. They are a very unique gift of God to mankind."
MAN WITH A BENT
John Bennett, a 48-year-old businessman in East Peoria, Ill. has a literal bent for the unusual. Several years ago while Bennett was sweeping the floor, a light bulb marked "idea" lit up in his brain. He fiddled with the broom and put a 19-degree bend in the handle. The bend in the handle became the center of the axis of the arm, and Bennett found he could do the same amount of sweeping as before with less than half the amount of energy. He next put a 19-degree bend into the handle of a hammer, and presto! he got, he says, 32% more power.
With that, Bennett went into sports equipment. He gave a crooked bat to kids playing softball, and weak hitters started to hit. Adults used the bat, and, Bennett says, "Home runs were hit by people who had never hit home runs." Fishermen found they got more distance with bent casting rods, according to Bennett, and so did golfers using bent clubs whose drives went 25% farther. Now Bennett is working on a bent-handled tennis racket which, he says, "does away with tennis elbow."
Bennett, who has patented his benthandled inventions, says a major sporting-goods manufacturer is looking them over. "The idea is so simple," he says, "and so stupid that nobody's ever thought of it before."