Scorecard

The answers: Giants (GI-ants, get it?), Bears, Bills, Pat-riots, VI-kings, Ben-gals and Bucc-an-eers.

FAR OUT

A woman called the Louisiana Super-dome in New Orleans to ask the price of tickets to Jazz basketball games.

"They are $7.50, $6, $4 and $1.50," she was told.

"Why the different prices?" asked the woman.

"They depend on how far away you are."

"Oh," she replied. "I'm in Baton Rouge."

STUCK
The recent 12-12 Davis Cup set between Tony Roche of Australia and Corrado Barazzutti of Italy, which was called on account of darkness, has prompted Jimmy Van Alen to note that the Davis Cup is the only organization in tennis that has not adopted any form of his VASSS sudden-death tie breaker. Says Jimmy, "The Davis Cup are just stick-in-the-muds."

ACID TEST

After Los Angeles disk jockey Gary Owens heard that Pat Haden, the Rams quarterback and Rhodes scholar, had complained that sportswriters always asked him the same questions, he interviewed Haden.