TIED TO BE FIT
Time was passing slowly on Noah's ark, so the lion suggested to the giraffe that they choose up sides for a football game. The giraffe agreed. The lion's team kicked off, and on the first play from scrimmage the monkey handed off to the rhino, who charged up the middle for 10 yards. On the next play the rhino rambled all the way for a touchdown. At halftime the giraffe's team was leading 42-0.
Early in the second half the monkey again handed off to the rhino. The rhino headed for a hole in the line, but the centipede, who was playing defensive tackle, reared up, grabbed the rhino and threw him to the deck, causing a fumble. The rabbit, who was playing free safety, picked up the ball and scored for the lion's team. The lion was elated. "Fantastic tackle!" he exclaimed to the centipede. "Just fantastic! By the way, where were you in the first half?" The centipede replied, "I was lacing up my shoes."
SEEING THE LIGHT
Inquiries in three races and a broken saddle in another delayed the day's program at the Fair Grounds in New Orleans to such an extent that the sun was setting before post time for the last race. This situation was not lost on hunch players who bet on a long shot named Plum Dark to win. He paid $25 40.