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RUN INTO THE SUNSET, RUN OFF A CLIFF, BUT, PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT
Frank Deford
June 05, 1978
In 1930, Robert Benchley wrote, "I am now definitely ready to announce that Sex, as a theatrical property, is as tiresome as the Old Mortgage, and that I don't want to hear it mentioned again. I am sick of rebellious youth and I am sick of Victorian parents and I don't care if all the little girls in all sections of the United States get ruined or want to get ruined or keep from getting ruined. All I ask is, don't write plays about it and ask me to sit through them."
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June 05, 1978

Run Into The Sunset, Run Off A Cliff, But, Please, Don't Tell Me About It

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1) Running is bad for you.

2) It is worse for women than it is for men.

3) It causes cancer in rats.

4) Psoriasis was found in five out of six running dentists tested.

5) Running causes impotence, except every now and then when it causes VD.

6) The Boston Marathon is only 17.4 miles long.

7) Pheidippides, who ran the 24-odd miles from the battlefield at Marathon to Athens—in effect, completing the first marathon—was actually a woman. The reason she collapsed and died after delivering her message was because she was a woman and it is a known fact that running a step beyond 1,500 meters is dangerous for women.

8) Running is boring.

9) The most boring runners write about it.

10) The next most boring runners talk about it.

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