For A Moment, A Once-in-a-lifetime Dive Seemed The Last-of-a-lifetime

From my upside-down position, I saw a hawk make a right (or was it a left?) turn. Like a clicking camera lens I saw scenes pass before my eyes, focused for only a split second before disappearing. I saw the Herefords walking upside down toward their afternoon feeding. The cattle were followed quickly by dirt bank, willow tree trunk, willow tree top, blue sky, opposite bank, staring faces, green foamy water.

Then—just as Billy Joe drew his arm back to throw the Snicker—-someone screamed, "Snaaaaaake!"

The cry sent chills through my gyrating body.

"Snake! Snake! Snake!" roared from a dozen throats. I lost what little control I had and came out of my forward flip somewhere south of China, flipping, twisting, legs pumping like pistons. I saw a chocolate-brown blur coming at me at high speed against a background of scampering bodies, leaves and spraying water.

Where was the snake?

I reached out frantically in the general direction of the blur and felt a stinging sensation on the right side of my face as the candy bar hit with surprising impact. I grabbed it and shoved it into my mouth just as my tender stomach hit the surface of Jackass Junction.

Where is the snake? What kind is it? Is it true they can't bite underwater? Screams of panic echoed across the pastureland.

"Look, it's a granddaddy! Lookit that sucker!"

I was underwater with a mouth full of Snicker and muddy creek water. I couldn't breathe, but that was not half as important as the location of the intruder. The Devil King swam somewhere in the same pool with the naked I, and I didn't like it one little bit.

They were still ranting about the size of the cottonmouth when my head finally appeared above the surface.