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ITS' TOUGH TO BE THE HOMETOWN TEAM IN NO ONE'S HOMETOWN!
Frank Deford
July 02, 1979
Teddy Ballgame went from RFK Stadium to a Texas interchange; the First Fan from the Oval Office to out of office. With rootlessness endemic in Our Nation's Capital, the question is: How do you build lunch-pail loyalties in an hors d'oeuvres town?
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July 02, 1979

Its' Tough To Be The Hometown Team In No One's Hometown!

Teddy Ballgame went from RFK Stadium to a Texas interchange; the First Fan from the Oval Office to out of office. With rootlessness endemic in Our Nation's Capital, the question is: How do you build lunch-pail loyalties in an hors d'oeuvres town?

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Here are three true clichés and some additional comments about Our Nation's Capital:

1) Until very recently, Washington was a sleepy Southern town.

2) It is recession-proof.

3) Nobody ever goes home. And also:

4) Being recession-proof doesn't sell season tickets to basketball and hockey games.

5) Everybody in Washington says the reason the baseball Senators never drew was that they were located within the city limits.

6) Everybody in Washington says the reason the basketball Bullets don't draw is that they are located out in the suburbs.

7) Statistics prove that Washington has twice as many psychiatrists per capita as any other city in the country. Also, until this year, starting quarterbacks.

8) The beleaguered institution of marriage is making a comeback in the District of Columbia. This is because houses are so expensive—average price: $100,000—that no man of marriageable age can afford one. Therefore he must find a female government employee to help share the expense. (Or possibly it is dowries that are making a comeback.)

9) The expression "political football" was used in Washington as early as 1839. Honest.

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