Scorecard

Four-star ratings went to San Francisco and New York. " San Francisco is as good as eating in a restaurant. There are steak sandwiches, chicken and all the stuff that comes with it," Lasorda said between bites. " New York has the best meals on the road. The clubhouse guy has his mom cook the food, and she's Italian. The mostaccioli is delicious."

Chicago, St. Louis, Philadelphia and Houston have three-star spreads; Atlanta and Cincinnati are two-star; and San Diego, Pittsburgh and Montreal fall at the bottom of Lasorda's list.

"The worst food in the league is in Montreal," he says. "I think they killed the chickens by starving them to death."

How does Lasorda rank the Dodger clubhouse meals of Chinese, Mexican and Italian food? "Gotta be four-star," boasts the well-fed manager, who keeps an emergency supply of egg rolls in his office refrigerator, along with cheese, fruit and a well-chosen wine.

On the whole, Lasorda finds National League food acceptable. "I haven't run into a really bad meal yet," he says. "I postpone a few, but I never miss any."

LOVE GAME

The following classified advertisement appeared on the front page of The New York Times one day last week:

"Richard loves Ellen very much and for the right reasons. They will marry, live happily ever after and he will beat her at tennis."

If Richard really wants to live happily ever after with Ellen, 50-50 might be a better arrangement than 6-1, 6-1, 6-1.