Losing isn't in my vocabulary, and neither are hundreds of thousands of other words
After taking over as president of the New York Knicks, Isiah Thomas gave coach Don Chaney a vote of confidence, saying, "He's got great stuff. His defensive stuff is solid. His offensive stuff is exceptional."
Days later, two hours before tip-off of a game against the Orlando Magic, Thomas fired Chaney, who was then escorted--with his wife--out of Madison Square Garden.
How was your day, dear?
One of Chaney's assistants, Brendan Malone, who was also fired that night, was driving home from the Garden when his Lincoln Navigator was broadsided and totaled.
Da bail was set at $500
Chester Brewer, who played Da Bull--the mascot of the Chicago Bulls--was arrested with six ounces of marijuana on his person. "He was not dressed as a bull at the time of his arrest," reported the Associated Press.
Further evidence of links between Saddam and Al-Leiter
New York City staged a mock terrorist attack at Shea Stadium, where a fake weapon of mass destruction went off.
Worst seat in the house
At a Maryland Terrapins basketball game, off-duty Baltimore cop Darren Sanders shot himself in the buttocks when his revolver accidentally discharged.
Twins third baseman Corey Koskie said, "If I hit 30 home runs and Jacque Jones hits 30 home runs and Torii Hunter hits 30 home runs, that's 120 home runs."
Let's see, one plus one plus one--that's four
For one of the final-exam questions given to Georgia basketball players in his Coaching Principles class, former assistant Jim Harrick Jr. asked, "How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a Basketball Game?"
Evidently he had the take sign
Yankees slugger Jason Giambi reportedly told a grand jury that he injected human growth hormone into his stomach and testosterone into his buttocks, rubbed a steroid called "the cream" on his body, placed another called "the clear" under his tongue and might have taken a female fertility drug called Clomid.
After all, that's what Teamsters and umpires do
The union that represents Major League Baseball umpires explored a possible affiliation with the Teamsters, though umpire Tim Tschida downplayed the talks, saying, "We're just having lunch."