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I Dream of Janet ...
Steve Rushin
December 27, 2004
... and O.J. and A.I. and everyone else who did things more absurd or outrageous in 2004 than I could possibly imagine
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December 27, 2004

I Dream Of Janet ...

... and O.J. and A.I. and everyone else who did things more absurd or outrageous in 2004 than I could possibly imagine

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Moneyball
After the Twins bought pitcher Terry Mulholland's contract for $1, Mulholland--who would go 5-9 for Minnesota--said, "It was a dollar well spent."

Beware of Greeks sharing lifts
Greek sprinters Konstantinos Kenteris and Katernia Thanou skipped their Olympic drug tests, then faked a tandem motorcycle accident as an alibi.

Baby Ruth
After losing 6-4 to his archrivals at Fenway Park, Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez said, "What can I say? I just tip my hat and call the Yankees my daddy."

Lincoln, city of light
After a 30-3 loss to Oklahoma, Nebraska coach Bill Callahan called Sooners fans "[expletive] hillbillies."

Sour grapes? No, I think they were clementines
Callahan later softened his comment, saying, "I probably could have used a better choice of words, but I am distressed when people are shooting off guns and throwing fruit at our players."

Diaper Dandy
A Pleasantville, N.J., middle school teacher was fired as basketball coach after giving a 13-year-old player the Crybaby Award at the team banquet.

A real wake-up call
Oakland A's pitcher Rich Harden injured his shoulder while turning off his alarm clock.

He was working on a backdoor slider
Florida Marlins pitcher Bryce Florie sliced open his chin one night when he reportedly sleepwalked into sliding glass doors.

Blaspheme it like Beckham
Wax figures of David Beckham and his wife, Victoria ( Posh Spice), were dressed up as Joseph and Mary in the celebrity nativity scene at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London. A visitor to the museum was so outraged that he punched the two figures in the face.

Dopey's sleepy
Great Britain's National Portrait Gallery exhibited a 67-minute video of Beckham sleeping.

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