The Show

The Broncos were fined nearly $1 million for circumventing the salary cap. Jake Plummer aside, do you have a feeling there may be other guys in that organization nicknamed the Snake?

An arbitrator ruled in favor of the Dolphins' recovering an $8.6 million bonus from Ricky Williams. Ricky may not have helped himself. He was represented at the hearing by the Zig-Zag man.

Michael Michael Michael ... Michael? Michael Jordan denied rumors he was coming out of retirement to play with Miami. He was thinking about it, but a last-minute slot opened up at the Birmingham Barons Fantasy Camp.

Jordan has been working out with Dennis Rodman. It's going well. Rodman has him concentrating on his outside Jell-O shot.

Rodman's tryout with the Nuggets was cut short because of an ingrown toenail. I believe that's the same excuse he used to get out of his marriage to Carmen Electra.

John Edwards on cover of Runner's World Not to be outdone, Dick Cheney will appear in two start-up monthlies, ICU People and Undisclosed House & Garden.

Edwards has run a marathon in 3:30. Although the swift boat veterans claim he dropped out at mile 3 with a phantom heel spur.

Tiger drops out of 84 Lumber Classic, cites fatigue Tiger told reporters he was beat, and Phil Mickelson immediately piped up, "Well, what do you expect? We had to use the Nike ball."

CBS fined $550,000 over Super Bowl halftime Half a million dollars for one boob. Wait. I'm sorry. I was thinking about Tom Arnold's salary.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy New Riders of the Purple Sage.