YOU AND I have the
same problem. We swear too goddam much.
Growing up, the
worst my mom ever said was, "Crying in the beer bucket!" Still have no
idea what it meant, but it was serious. She said cursing was "for the
locker room." Man, she wouldn't believe how big the locker room is now.
I realized it a
couple of weeks ago at the Colorado-- Colorado State football game. The two
student sections cursed like teamsters in two-sizes-too-small thongs.
"F--- 'em up! F--- 'em up! Go CU!" They sang, "Bullllls---!" at
a ref's call. And they chanted, "F—you, CSU!" (Clap-clap,
clap-clap-clap!) And that was their clever stuff.
No student seemed
to be able to pass a rival in the concourse without hurling a "F---
you!" in the other's ear, accompanied by twin birds and projectile spittle.
(And, really, some of the men were just as bad.)
It's not just
Colorado. We have become a nation of !@#$%&ers. Michigan hockey fans
serenade each opponent sent to the penalty box with a dozen elegant words:
"Chump! D---! Wuss! Douche bag! A------ ! P---- ! Cheater! Bitch! Whore!
at its finest.
That's why I'm all
for what they're doing at Boston University. Beginning this season, anybody who
cusses at a BU home athletic event gets pitched out of the arena. "We had
to do something," says hockey coach Jack Parker. "People are telling me
they're afraid to bring their kids to games."
It's not going to
be easy making BU hockey fans give up swearing. It's like asking frogs to give
up flies or R Kelly 15-year-olds. Not only that, but how will the Terriers play
games with only three players left on the ice? "I just hope an usher
doesn't come down and get me," says Parker.
Mike Lynch and dean of students Kenneth Elmore decided something had to be done
after BU fans cursed a blue streak during last spring's NCAA hockey tournament.
Now the school will station cuss cops—officials, ushers, even Lynch—all over
Agganis Arena's infamous section 118. "They're trying to censor us,"
says Nick Williams, sports editor of the student paper. "I feel like it
limits my freedom of speech."