Put it this way: Anytime, anywhere you're with Artest or Jackson, anything they gonna did, you ought not gonna did.
What kind of financial advice would you give to a rookie coming into the League?
Artest: The first thing you should do is put money in real estate, that's the safest investment.
Not sure I'd really want financial advice from Ron-Ron. This is a guy who financed his own vanity record label—Tru Warier—just so he could put out his own CD, which sold a whopping 343 copies in the first week. And then—and then!—he asked his coach, Rick Carlisle, if he could take a month off to promote another CD on his label. During the season!
R.A.—What's the best job to have in basketball besides being a player?
Artest: If I wasn't a player, I would wanna just work with players. I don't wanna be a head coach.
You can sort of see why Artest would say such a thing. Every coach he's had has ended up gobbling Tums. This is possibly because Wrong-Wrong has sabotaged every team he's been on: Chicago, where he was fined and sent home—from rookie orientation; Indiana, where he feuded with star Jermaine O'Neal; and Sacramento, where he has clashed with guard Mike Bibby.
Other advice columnists may say to Artest that we need ABBY—Any Body But You. Me, I can't wait for the next installment of his column, when I expect the first letter to be ...
Dear Ron-Ron—My brothers and I used to own a good NBA team until we started paying a complete thug $7 million a year. All he does is dog it and get busted more often than Otis of Mayberry. What should we do?
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