YOU CALL yourself
a sports fan? Then why don't you help your team? Screaming at opponents,
"You shoot worse than Dick Cheney!" is not enough. Wearing your DUCK
FUKE! hat is not enough. It's time to put the madness in March. It's time to
They're doing it
on campuses all over the country. At Colorado, for instance, a pack of
enterprising student hoops fans finds the Facebook pages of the opponents' star
athletes and picks out juicy facts. Say a player's favorite movie is Dirty
Dancing, and his girlfriend's name is Muffy, and his favorite food is
doughnuts. Next thing you know, they're at games yelling, "I just saw Muffy
eating Patrick Swayze's cruller!"
season the merry band of pranksters found a Facebook picture of a Colorado
State hoops player bathing as a toddler with his brother. They blew it up and
made it into a huge sign that read BROTHERS WITH BENEFITS. "I don't feel
bad," says Colorado senior Jason Weiss, one of the leaders of the
Buffaloes' pack. "It's not like we have to dig hard for this information.
It's right there on their pages!"
finest moment may have come during last year's basketball season, when it
concocted a fake Facebook page for an amorous and beautiful coed named
"Jeanne," then had Jeanne begin cyberflirting with Kansas State star
forward Cartier Martin through his Facebook page. Martin, quite naturally,
e-mailed her back saying that he'd be in Boulder in two weeks and why didn't
she call him on his cell and they'd get together?
Next thing Martin
knew, Colorado fans were tormenting him with calls to his cellphone. When it
was game time in Boulder, they chanted, "Jeanne! Jeanne!," and shouted
out his cell number as he shot free throws. The Buffs beat the Wildcats
On Facebook one
student can "poke" another without limits. The pokee gets a notice on
his page saying, "You've been poked by Sam So-and-so from Faraway U."
If the pokee doesn't want to poke back, he must manually delete the message. SI
found 24 schools with groups dedicated to poking the opposing team's
quarterback. The Tennessee group has 697 members available for perpetual
poking. That's more pokes than you'll see in a Three Stooges marathon.
Nebraska QB Zac
Taylor was so poked out last season that he disabled the poking option on his
page, "but then they just started friend-requesting me and sending me
messages," says Taylor, who hopes to be picked in the NFL draft in April.
"Do you know what a pain it is to delete 500 messages a day?"
If a player
doesn't have a Facebook or MySpace page, then the cyberhecklers just make up
pages for them anyway. For instance, there are 391 MySpace profiles for Tiger
Woods. So that's what he does with all that time between tournaments. I even
found a fake one for myself. It was pretty accurate, except the part about me
being a gay, 25 year-old woman living in Seattle.
damaging is the phony info put on Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia that users
can edit. Golfer Fuzzy Zoeller is irate over a Wikipedia posting containing
false information in his biography; it said that he drank a fifth of booze
while also taking Vicodin and beat members of his family. Zoeller's lawyer
tracked the posting to a Miami consulting firm and last month filed suit
Then there's the
spam bomb. First you create e-mail accounts at any of the free sites such as
Yahoo or Hotmail. Then you forward all the spam you receive to one account.
Finally, you forward all the spam you've accumulated to the poor, unsuspecting