No More Mr. Nice Guy!

FEDERER LOSES used to be a headline you'd read about as often as LION STARVES or CLOONEY WEDS.

But the world's greatest tennis player lost in the fourth round of the Sony Ericsson Open last week in Miami, the second tournament in a row he didn't win. Just like that, he's gone from being the tornado to being the trailer. The Federer Express seems to have forgotten how to deliver.

And, the thing is, I know why.

Roger Federer is decent, humble and kinder than Aunt Bee. He is constantly saying, "I'm just a normal guy." All his winning shots were just "lucky." Well, finally, opponents are starting to take his word for it.

Do you realize this man, whom most experts say is the greatest tennis player to ever live, actually goes to restaurants and sometimes waits in line?

He doesn't have a full-time coach. Has no tattoos. His entourage is a joke. His publicity agent, his scheduler, his hitting partner and his girlfriend are all the same person. And she's not even a lingerie model! Just an ordinary, very nice Swiss miss named Mirka. Derek Jeter has more babes than belts!

Federer flies commercial. Doesn't own a jet. Here's a guy who has dominated his sport far more than Tiger Woods has over the last three years, yet Tiger has a 155-foot yacht and Federer doesn't even own a dinghy.

Federer made an estimated $28 million last year, yet he doesn't own a house, just two "flats," he says. He won four ATP honors in one day last week—Player of the Year, Humanitarian of the Year, Fans' Favorite and the Sportsmanship Award for 2006—yet he has no trophy room. The hardware just piles up on his dining room table.

At 25 Federer has won 10 Grand Slam events yet still stays in the same hotel as the tour schmoes. Roger, you're an immortal! Rent a mansion! Do you realize that when Tiger played at a tournament in Tucson in February he not only rented a house, but he also had all the furniture removed and his own brought in, so he could be more comfortable? Wake up and smell the indulgence!

"I don't want to overlive," Federer says. "I don't need to be too big. It's got to feel right when you go to bed at night."