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Prime-Time Players
Rick Reilly
October 22, 2007
WITH JOCKS on The Bachelor, jocks thinking they can dance and jocks under Friday Night Lights, and Thursday-, Saturday-, Sunday- and Monday-night lights, prime-time TV has more jocks than Dick's Sporting Goods. But for some of us, it's still not enough. In a perfect world every show would be about sports. In fact, why wait?
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October 22, 2007

Prime-time Players

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[IMAGE] HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Tom Brady has a heart-to-heart with his son.
TWO AND A HALF MEN
The Vikings come up with a plan for blocking Brian Urlacher.
WITHOUT A TRACE
Floyd Landis searches for a new pharmacist.
[IMAGE] 30 ROCK
Evander Holyfield's first 30 moves in the Rock-Paper-Scissors Championship.
THE BIGGEST LOSER
Charlie Weis versus Sean Payton.
DEAL OR NO DEAL
Scott Boras considers $50 million a year for A-Rod. Plus the state of Florida.
[IMAGE] THE SIMPSONS
Long-lost cousin O.J. inquires about family memorabilia.
THAT '70S SHOW
Lou Holtz offers fashion tips.
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER?
Rex Grossman answers that question very quickly.
PRISON BREAK
Michael Vick's new team comes out of the huddle.
[IMAGE] CAVEMEN
Bob Knight and Isiah Thomas have lunch.
EXTREME MAKEOVER
This week: Barry Bonds.
AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS
Secret footage of Shaq working on his foul shots.
LOST
Contestants try to find the NHL on TV.
[IMAGE] ANTIQUES ROADSHOW
Penn State legend Joe Paterno takes on Florida State icon Bobby Bowden.
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
Al Gore explains to Cubs fans why a World Series title is never going to happen.
[IMAGE] MIDNIGHT RUN
Ricky Williams gets the munchies.
X-MEN
Charles Barkley and George Bush Sr. check their scorecards after playing 18 holes.
[IMAGE] BAYWATCH
Aging lifeguard Trevor Hoffman blows another save.
COLD CASE
Detective Rush discovers Bill Belichick's personality.
I, ROBOT
Frank Thomas tries his hand at broadcasting.
[IMAGE] CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Workshop for Notre Dame fans.
BIG LOVE
Foes of Roger Federer recall their matches.
JOHN FROM CINCINNATI
A profile of the only Bengal not facing felony charges.
REAL SPORTS
Frank Deford investigates what the hell Bryant Gumbel is writing on his legal pad.
[IMAGE] 3
The true story of the three people who clamored for a sequel to the Dale Earnhardt movie.
WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN
Competitors attempt to pull Rick Majerus away from the pasta bar.
WORLD SERIES OF POKER
Norman Chad praises the poker face of Willy (the Wall) Wilson until discovering that Willy's dead.
[IMAGE] FAMILY GUY
Roger Clemens retires yet again to spend more time at home.
SCRUBS
Guest stars: the St. Louis Rams.
IN SEARCH OF...
Leonard Nimoy tries to find a clean track athlete to whom he can give Marion Jones's medals.
SMALLVILLE
Mark McGwire showers.

WITH JOCKS on The Bachelor, jocks thinking they can dance and jocks under Friday Night Lights, and Thursday-, Saturday-, Sunday- and Monday-night lights, prime-time TV has more jocks than Dick's Sporting Goods. But for some of us, it's still not enough. In a perfect world every show would be about sports. In fact, why wait?

[This article contains a table. Please see hardcopy of magazine or PDF.]

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