The Warren Report

WARREN SAPP RETIRED last week, which cost the Raiders one of the best defensive tackles in the history of the game (he had 96.5 sacks and made seven Pro Bowls in 13 seasons) and cost writers one of the best quote producers in living memory. Here are some of Sapp's more memorable moments.

Nov. 24, 2002
On an interception return, Sapp (right) levels hapless Packers tackle Chad Clifton with a legal block, sending him to the hospital and ending his season. Green Bay coach Mike Sherman chides Sapp on the field. After the game, Sapp calls Sherman "a lying, s--t-eating hound" and says, "If I was 25 without my kids and a conscience, I would have given him an ass-whipping right on the 30-yard line."

Sept. 21, 2003
Sapp—a first-round pick out of Miami by the Buccaneers in 1995—scores the first offensive touchdown of his career on a six-yard pass from Tampa Bay QB Brad Johnson. He celebrates with an homage to Beyonc� (left), mimicking the dance from her Crazy in Love music video in the end zone. "I didn't do it quite like she does," the 303-pounder says. "But she's got a little more assets than I do."

Oct. 12, 2003
After the league tells him he can no longer skip through opposing teams' pregame drills, Sapp responds in a CBS pregame interview: "It's a slave system. Make no mistake about it; slave master say you can't do it, don't do it. They'll make an example out of you.... I guess I've become larger than life."

Nov. 22, 2006
Sapp reveals that he often refuses to dine out while on the road for fear that his food will be poisoned. He also says he sometimes takes two rooms in hotels—the second under an assumed name, so he can order room service without worrying about foul play. "I know it's real," says Sapp. "Especially in Philly. Come on." Sapp does concede that he's had no problems since his 2004 move from Tampa to Oakland: "I've been good out here on the West Coast. I guess they're more liberal out here."

Dec. 23, 2006
Sapp throws a sideline tantrum because of the team's ugly play. "It was something that was really, really on the edge of, like, gay porn," he explains. "When it's real bad football, that's what we call it: gay porn. Something you don't want to watch. Something you just don't want to see on the TV. Something you don't even want to talk about. That's gay porn."