You're a hardworking NBA star, trying to feed your family on $9 million a year. The league is cruelly making you get dressed up. It's hell. You need a day off to rest, relax and recuperate in a peaceful hideaway.
Naturally, you choose Las Vegas.
You start by calling George Maloof, the Playmate-dating co-owner of the Sacramento Kings, and book a suite at the �ber-trendy Palms casino, which the Maloof family also owns. The Palms is the Sands, 50 years later, only with silicone. This is where, last week, you could've hung with Derek Jeter, partied with David Ortiz, taken a timeout with Chris Webber and seen Britney Spears milling around.
But which suite?
Should you book the brand-new, $50,000-a-night Hardwood Suite, which has its own basketball court--complete with three king-size Murphy beds that pull out of the court walls?
Or maybe you should go for the Kingpin Suite, which has two full-length bowling lanes, 100 pairs of shoes and some 30 balls? It's hell to be in the rooms beneath it, but it's Jeter's favorite.
The Crib Suite (DJ booth)? The Erotic Suite (shower with stripper pole and multicolored flashing lights)? Any of the 24 NBA suites (12-foot-high doors, nine-foot-high shower nozzles and eight-foot beds)?
You decide on the 10,000-square-foot Hardwood Suite. After all, with its locker room (nine lockers and three showers) and beds enough for 10, you can bring nearly all your teammates. They'll love having their own cheerleaders ($750 each for four hours) to root them on. You can even rent a ref (about $250). Everyone will get a jersey with his name on it. Plus, your name will be painted right on the court. (In case you forget.)
To get to Vegas, you charter a jet (about $15,000 round trip from Los Angeles), and the Palms picks you up in one of its lime-green, tricked-out, 22-inch-rim Escalades (free). You're huge, so they've assigned you your own casino host and security detail, anytime you need them, day or night (free). They sneak you in the VIP entrance in the back, then straight up to your room.
Dude, it's even suiter than you thought! It only starts with the basketball court. There's a basketball-grained leather wall, butler service and a revolving couch. (You can tell Coach you were practicing your 360 spin moves all weekend.)