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The Last of Carnac
Steve Rushin
February 07, 2005
Please welcome, one final time, that mysterious visitor from the East--seer, sage, soothsayer--Carnac the Magnificent, who will ascertain, in his divine and mystical way, the answers to your sports questions without ever having seen them. Are you ready, O Great One?
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February 07, 2005

The Last Of Carnac

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May a nearsighted sand fly suck the syrup off your short stack.

A: The can-can.

Q: Where does Bron-Bron go pee-pee?

A: Neverland.

Q: What do you say to the pilot for the New Orleans Hornets?

A: Around the horn.

Q: Where's the worst place to punch a rhino?

A: Brown-eyed girl.

Q: What did Kwame do while riding the bench?

A: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.

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