Who's Hot Who's Not

Who's Hot

Olympic Heroes
Canadian speedskater Cindy Klassen (five medals in Turin) set a world record in the 3,000 meters last week; U.S. speedskater Shani Davis (right) set one in the 1,500 (eclipsing nemesis Chad Hedrick) and flying tomato Shaun White (above) won the halfpipe and the slopestyle in Stratton, Vt. Said White, a San Diego native, to The Boston Globe, "I'm going to the beach."

Parkers
The same weekend Tennessee's Candace dunked twice in a tournament win, the Spurs' Tony had 23 points to help the Spurs move to the best record in the NBA's Western Conference. Sarah Jessica had another slamming weekend too: Her Failure to Launch grossed $15.8 million to hold at No. 2.

Roger Federer
Still No. 1--for the 111th straight week--after demolishing James Blake in the finals at Indian Wells, Calif. That meant the third tournament win of 2006 and a $455,000 payday for the Swiss superstar, who opined that against Blake he played "really fantastic tennis."

Cheechoo
Not a train but a hockey player: Jonathan of the Sharks, who's got a career-high 42 goals and a new $15 million contract and is helping San Jose make a push for the playoffs.

Who's Not

Chicago Baseball
Yes, yes, it's only spring training, but still: a major-league-worst 4-14 record for the White Sox? And manager Ozzie Guillen is fretting over the champs' awful bullpen. ("I have never seen anything like this," he groused.) Things are even gloomier in Cubland, where stud starters Mark Prior (right) and Kerry Wood are headed to the disabled list. Again.

Dixons
Army women's coach Maggie was the victim of those Candace Parker dunks, and fell to the Volunteers 102-54. Her brother, Jamie, who coaches the Pittsburgh men, got upset by 13th seed Bradley and then observed, "The seedings didn't mean anything."

Andy Roddick
Grand Slam-less since winning the U.S. Open in 2003, the great American hope made 45 unforced errors while being beaten at Indian Wells by 26th-ranked Igor Andreev. Said a seething Roddick, who hasn't reached a final this year, "I'm not the captain of Team Fun right now."

Achilles of Troy
Not Homer's hero (that Achilles was Greek) but a horse: The touted Kentucky Derby hopeful finished fifth and pulled up lame in last Saturday's Gotham. Foot trouble, natch.