Bumps In The Night

It is not good to be naked in Cincinnati, as then Diamondbacks pitcher Brian Anderson found out in 1999 when he awoke to find himself standing outside his Queen City hotel room in the middle of the night without a stitch of clothing. Anderson is not the pajama-wearing type, and he had sleepwalked into the hallway. After unsuccessfully trying to jimmy the door with a DO NOT DISTURB�sign, he grabbed a copy of USA Today, covered himself with it and went in search of help. He finally found a guy in the workout room who gave him a towel and called security to let him back into his room.

In the doorstop-sized book that could be written about problems athletes have experienced after they've turned in for the night, Anderson would fit in the chapter called Lucky Ducks. The only damage he suffered was to his ego. Too many others have been buffeted about rudely by the arms of Morpheus. Just last week, for example, 17-year-old Canadian tennis pro Peter Polansky fell three stories after he sleepwalked out of a window in a Mexico City hotel as he dreamed he was being confronted by a knife-wielding intruder. (Polansky cut both legs badly but is expected to recover fully.) Golfer Sam Torrance once tripped over a flower pot while sleepwalking at a hotel and badly bruised his sternum. And in 2004 pitcher Bryce Florie needed 15 stitches after slicing his chin open when he sleepwalked into a sliding glass door during spring training.

Somnambulism theory holds that stress and fatigue (such as might be experienced by major league ballplayers, or anyone watching Bonds on Bonds) can trigger such an episode. There may be no evidence to suggest athletes are especially prone to sleepwalking--but then the scientists who say that have probably never been to a Knicks practice. This much is known: Sleepwalkers often act in ways that mimic their regular behavior. Thus Red Sox pitcher David Wells once threw a left hook through a window while sleepwalking, requiring five stitches on his pitching thumb.

But while sleep may yield more walks than Victor Zambrano, sleepwalking is hardly the only way athletes injure themselves after lights-out. In 2000 Red Sox farmhand Paxton Crawford went on the disabled list when he fell out of bed onto a drinking glass. Former Jets quarterback Kyle Mackey once rolled over in his sleep, banged his arm on a bedside table, aggravating a laceration that had become infected.

If time and gravity don't dash your dreams of athletic glory, hotel chambermaids sometimes will. In October 1998, PGA player Brad Hughes pulled out of the Las Vegas Invitational after one round with a sprained ankle that he blamed on the sheets on his hotel bed being tucked in too tight. (Before the following week's tournament, in his hometown of Orlando, he said, "I'm sleeping in my own bed this week, so I shouldn't have a problem.") Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia was pulled after one inning in a 2002 spring game because of a sore back that came, he said, from sleeping on four pillows. (Asked if that's really what happened, Indians manager Charlie Manuel replied, "I don't know. I don't sleep with him.")

Skippers can get sarcastic when discussing sleep disorders. Two years ago Oakland pitcher Rich Harden made it through the night just fine--then strained his nonpitching shoulder turning off his alarm clock. A few days later, when Harden was finally able to throw again, A's manager Ken Macha said the righty had learned his lesson: "He's more careful turning off his clock."

Sometimes it all seems like a bad dream. During the 1990 season Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill dreamed that he was being attacked by spiders. He ran around his apartment, cutting his toes, feet and elbows badly enough to land him on the 15-day disabled list. "I don't laugh about it, but the guys give me a hard time regardless," said Hill, whose teammates began calling him Spider-Man and glued posters from the movie Arachnophobia to his locker.

Of course, you have to watch who you sleep with. Former pitcher Paul Shuey suffered a shoulder injury after dozing off in a chair while holding his newborn.

So what's an athlete to do? Not sleeping isn't the answer. Former infielder Jose Cardenal once said he couldn't play because a cricket in his hotel room had kept him up all night--but then he also asked out of a game because he said he had slept on his eyelid wrong and couldn't blink. If you worry too much about it you will, like Lady Macbeth, a famous sleepwalker, go mad. Probably the best advice comes from Wells who, when asked about his somnambulism, said, "I'm not going to lose any sleep over it."

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