Ozzie: No, no, ees
naw a person! It's--Soo Chi! I love soochi food!
Ozzie: Yes, yes.
Of course, Ozzie
thinks it's racist that I'm even bringing it up.
"Jew are racis
son of a beech," he insists. "If I was black, could jew be sayeeng
these theengs? An beside, Spaneesh ees groweeng so fas een thees country. Why
no writers lur Spaneesh?"
Good point. But
doesn't his warped English keep his players from understanding his
there's no mistaking what he's feeling," says pitching coach Don Cooper.
"You don't have to understand the words."
Third base coach
Joey Cora never wants Guillen to improve. "If Ozzie knew English better, he
wouldn't be Ozzie. He tells you what's in his heart, not what you want to hear.
Maybe if his English were better, he wouldn't do that. Maybe he'd tiptoe around
the truth more."
Ozzie, "I don't got to understang them. They got to understang me!... And,
anyway, Eenglish ees naw so cood at makeeng sense. Why jew drive een parkway
and park een driveway?"
Just then, first
base coach Harold Baines walks up, hand extended, smiling. "Hi. I'm Harold
Baines, Ozzie's interpreter."