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The Show
Bill Scheft
May 23, 2005
Quick Impression´┐ŻElin Nordegren Woods: "I don't care that your plans changed. You have nothing to do this weekend, you can put in the screens."
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May 23, 2005

The Show

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Dwyane Wade scored a franchise-record 42 playoff points in the clincher. He's now dominant enough to fire Aaron Goodwin.

LeBron James fired his agent, Aaron Goodwin. I guess LeBron had his heart set on guest hosting Chappelle's Show.

Over the last two years Goodwin has negotiated $135 million in endorsement deals. I don't want to sound like my dad, but can you imagine if he'd applied himself?

Jim Brown has joined the Browns in a yet-to-be-named position I've got a name. What about Guy We Bring In When We Want to Scare the Crap out of Someone.

The Vikings' Onterrio Smith was detained at a Minneapolis airport when security found paraphernalia designed to beat drug testing. He told police the kit was for his cousin, and they released him. Right now, there's a thousand shoe bombers thinking, For my cousin. Why didn't I think of that?

The Giants signed an agreement with the state of New Jersey to fund a new $750 million stadium. Help me out here. Does this mean the front-runner for the 2012 Olympics is now Secaucus?

New heavyweight champ James Toney tests positive for steroids The WBA is very clear on this. The only place you are allowed to fight while on steroids is a bar in Miami Beach.

John Salley seen making out with Teri Hatcher Sure, it sounds great, but he kept getting interrupted by Tom Arnold.

Recent CSI: NY episode centers on dead Red Sox fan The guy is discovered dead in his car in the Yankee Stadium parking lot. Neat twist. He'd originally been found on Oct. 16, 2003, but Grady Little decided to leave him in.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Crisis.

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