Of Mice And Morons

At the NCAA Division III 10,000-meter final last Thursday the University of Chicago team was chanting, "Where's Nick? Where's Nick?"

And the team from Washington University wore white T-shirts, reading, WHERE'S NICK?

And people in the stands were whispering to each other, "Hey, where's Nick?"

Well, where was Nick?

Nick End, a 22-year-old Carnegie Mellon senior, was sitting in his apartment, wishing he were dead. After all, he had one of the nation's best 10,000-meter times this year in Division III. He was last year's University Athletic Association champion. He'd been running five miles every morning and 10 to 15 every night, through three throat infections, a dozen injuries, snow, sleet and wind. One day a dog bit him, and he ran nine more miles before he went to the emergency room.

So what the hell was Nick doing sitting at home?

Thinking about a tiny, slippery mouse and a dumb, stubborn elephant, that's what.

See, his track coach accidentally clicked the wrong button with his mouse on the online entry form and entered Nick in the 5,000-meter race for the NCAA nationals instead of the 10,000. Only Nick didn't qualify in the 5,000.

The coach, Dario Donatelli, didn't realize his mistake until the next morning. But the field was still marked "unofficial" on the website. No problem. He got hold of the selection committee chairman, Josh Payne, and told him about the goof. "Will you change it for me?"

This is where you're going to want to start chewing on a table leg.