Crunch Time For Dad

Son, let's just drop this whole--

Might as well tell me, Dad. I can always go on the Internet.

(Sigh.) Well, uh, son, Viagra helps guys who--. See, Viagra is something that dads take when they're with moms and things aren't really happening--. See, uh, have I ever told you the story of Jack and the Magic Beans?

Where the magic beans make a huge beanstalk?

Yeah, it works kinda like that. Hey! It's time for SportsCenter! You wanna change the channel quick?

O.K.

Perfect! Let's just sit here quietly and check out what's going on in sports news.

(Pause.)

Dad, what's a Whizzinator?

? If you have a comment for Rick Reilly, send it to reilly@siletters.com.