Good to be here. Do I have this right? Deep Throat finally came forward because he heard there was an opening in the 49ers' p.r. department?
Tyson's career ends in tomato can After his sixth-round TKO loss to Kevin McBride in which he tried to break McBride's arm, then opened a cut with a head butt, Tyson said he was retiring to become a missionary. Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes you don't have to come up with a joke.
Tyson was penalized two points for the head butt. Luckily one of the points was garnisheed by the IRS.
Afleet Alex pulls away in Belmont The Preakness winner ran the fastest last quarter mile at Belmont in 36 years. I haven't seen anything close that quickly since the Expos season-ticket office.
Nick Zito started 11 horses in this year's Triple Crown, and only one finished in the money. Is there such a thing as a Total Eclipse Award?
New York politicians vote down proposed stadium Despite the decision, New York still has a chance of getting the 2012 Olympics. Are you kidding? Neverland Ranch has a better shot at hosting the Games.
Paris is such an overwhelming favorite for the 2012 Games, Jacques Chirac has given citizens the go-ahead to resume being rude to tourists.
Nike drops Jason Giambi as spokesman He's planning on signing with that hip, new sneaker company, Andro1.
The Yankees continue to struggle. George Steinbrenner's been calling so many times during games, Joe Torre brought Russell Crowe in to rip the phone out of the dugout.
Elsewhere, Colorado rookie Clint Barmes is out three months after breaking his collarbone while carrying a slab of deer meat up a flight of stairs. Typical Rockie. He's blaming it on the altitude.