- TOP PLAYERSOffensePABLO S. TORRE | August 20, 2012
- TAMPA BAY buccaneersENEMY lines WHAT A RIVAL COACH SAYSJune 28, 2012
- Faces in the CrowdJune 11, 2001
He kept you from buying that fur-toaster business.
He tells people you dunked off his alley-oop when you both know it was the other way around.
He was the only one who came to the wedding when you married the stripper.
So how can you show your best buddy you care without looking vaguely Brokeback? The way most guys do it, by giving him untold piles of crap.
Now there's a cool new way to do just that. It's called One Ring, and it's going to be more popular than breast implants.
Let's say your friend in Houston is a sick Texans fan. Any time the Texans do something stupid--like fumble or blow a 20-yard field goal or not draft Reggie Bush--you simply call him, let the phone ring once and hang up. You One Ring him. It'll make him nuttier than Courtney Love.
Guys are One Ringing their buddies all over the country. You're a Cowboys fan and Dallas just signed Terrell (Typhoid Mary) Owens? Your phone will be One Ringing right off your belt. You're a Pistons fan and Detroit just let Ben Wallace skate? You'll get more rings than Tommy Lee's bathtub. You're a Knicks fan? Your cell will ring like the bells of St. Mary.
Anytime your team blows it, get ready. "I get One Rings at two in the morning," says Chris Carson, a rabid Dallas fan who helped come up with the idea. "I'm forced to get up, go downstairs, turn on ESPN Classic and see that the Steelers are beating my Cowboys in, like, Super Bowl X."
One Ring started in 1991 among graduates of Bates College in Lewiston, Maine. They were looking for a way to torment each other about their teams without piling up hernia-inducing phone bills. Lately, it's grown like kudzu. Now people are ringing each other internationally--for free!
"With each chirp of the phone," says Carson, who will get up to 50 rings when his Cowboys screw up, "there is the fundamental realization that someone, somewhere cared enough to utter the long-distance equivalent of Nelson's 'HA-ha!' from The Simpsons. It's 21st-century trash talking."