He kept you from
buying that fur-toaster business.
He tells people
you dunked off his alley-oop when you both know it was the other way
He was the only
one who came to the wedding when you married the stripper.
So how can you
show your best buddy you care without looking vaguely Brokeback? The way most
guys do it, by giving him untold piles of crap.
Now there's a cool
new way to do just that. It's called One Ring, and it's going to be more
popular than breast implants.
Let's say your
friend in Houston is a sick Texans fan. Any time the Texans do something
stupid--like fumble or blow a 20-yard field goal or not draft Reggie Bush--you
simply call him, let the phone ring once and hang up. You One Ring him. It'll
make him nuttier than Courtney Love.
Guys are One
Ringing their buddies all over the country. You're a Cowboys fan and Dallas
just signed Terrell (Typhoid Mary) Owens? Your phone will be One Ringing right
off your belt. You're a Pistons fan and Detroit just let Ben Wallace skate?
You'll get more rings than Tommy Lee's bathtub. You're a Knicks fan? Your cell
will ring like the bells of St. Mary.
Anytime your team
blows it, get ready. "I get One Rings at two in the morning," says
Chris Carson, a rabid Dallas fan who helped come up with the idea. "I'm
forced to get up, go downstairs, turn on ESPN Classic and see that the Steelers
are beating my Cowboys in, like, Super Bowl X."
One Ring started
in 1991 among graduates of Bates College in Lewiston, Maine. They were looking
for a way to torment each other about their teams without piling up
hernia-inducing phone bills. Lately, it's grown like kudzu. Now people are
ringing each other internationally--for free!
chirp of the phone," says Carson, who will get up to 50 rings when his
Cowboys screw up, "there is the fundamental realization that someone,
somewhere cared enough to utter the long-distance equivalent of Nelson's
'HA-ha!' from The Simpsons. It's 21st-century trash talking."