Some choices are
easy. You're either a dog guy or a cat guy. Red state or blue. Letterman or
Same with Tiger
Woods versus Phil Mickelson. There's no in between. If you love Phil, you hate
Tiger. Or vice versa. Can't be both. It's like saying, "I truly cherish
Michael Moore and Ann Coulter!"
So no in
between--you're a Phil guy (PG) or you're a Tiger guy (TG). And which you are
says more about you than you know. For instance....
A TG is a
clotheshorse, much like his hero, with the 30-inch waist and Mark Spitz
shoulders. A PG is more of a charley horse. Some days his hero looks like he
pulled his outfit out of a bus depot locker. "Tiger always looks sooo
good," says Pam Rojan of Macon, Ga. "My husband is always saying, 'Do
you realize how many sit-ups I'd have to do to look like that?'"
A TG likes a
two-hour workout after breakfast. A PG likes a two-hour breakfast. He thinks
deltoids are a breath mint. "Tiger guys wear Under Armour," says Kevin
Cartin of Boulder, Colo. "Phil guys wear manziers."
A PG is softer
and rounder than a TG. When a TG hits his thumb with a hammer, the f bombs can
be heard in Poughkeepsie. When a PG hits his thumb with a hammer, he swallows
hard and says, "My goodness, that's an inordinate amount of pain!"
A PG comes home
from work, gets on one knee and his kids mob him. A TG doesn't come home from
work, at least not mentally.
loves that part when all Phil's kids come running out to give Daddy a hug,"
says Rex Post, a rabid golf fan from Phoenix. Yeah? It drives TGs bananas.
"Where are the kids when he finishes 35th?" grumbles Scott Chambers of
San Diego. "He never flies them in for that."
A TG loves
history, and no golfer means more to American history than Tiger, the military
kid who brought color to a white game. "My dad was denied entry into a lot
of golf courses when he was a young man," says Todd Hestor of Danbury,
Conn., an African-American TG. "For him, it meant everything when Tiger won
that first Masters." How's Phil supposed to match that? March for
A TG enjoys a
friendly wager on a Saturday football game. A PG moves the line four points. A
PG is a gambler, the kind of guy who thinks it makes perfect sense to try to
hit a shot through the maintenance shack, off the water fountain and onto the
green. A TG is into sustained and precise excellence. A PG wins his match by
surviving his mistakes. A TG wins by not making any.