Shattuck had to laugh. "I wanted to say, 'Sure! Come home with me! But are you willing to get up at six to get the kids off to school? Can you help me do diapers?' Very sexy."
She's Martha Stewart on fast-forward. With the help of a 30-hour-a-week babysitter Shattuck has run a marathon, she's learning to play piano, she tap-dances and she sews. She had 250 people over for dinner Friday night and did all the flower arrangements herself. In other words she's the kind of woman other women would love to see perish in a Hoover accident.
Can she help it if she's got a list? She's had it since high school. It's called "10 Things I Want to Do Before I Die." On it was Be an NFL Cheerleader. The day before the tryouts began this season, she decided, "What do I have to lose?"
You talk about a rookie. With the application they wanted a full-body shot in a bikini. She didn't own one. There were more than 300 women at the tryouts, and she showed up wearing spandex shorts that stopped just above her knee and a pink top she got at Target. "Uh, no offense," said Helfenbein, "but you're a little out of date."
"I looked around and everybody was in hot pants and low-cut sequin tops," Shattuck remembers. "Boobs flying everywhere." Helfenbein lent Shattuck her extra "booty" pants. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is for a woman who's had three babies to parade around in booty pants? Me neither.
Then another girl lent her a far more daring top. Somebody else told her, "Your hair's gotta be a lot poofier," and got to work. Another came up and said, "Could I do your makeup for you?"
Voil�!--she was bootylicious. But what if her body was out of date? "I mean, I hadn't done a toe touch in 18 years!"
But she nailed every stunt and every dance. She was so good in the interview that she ended up in a group hug with the judges. Four weeks of tryouts later, she'd made it.
"Suddenly," says her 50-year-old husband, "I wake up and I'm married to an NFL cheerleader! How good is that?"
And of course, we're not even halfway through the Molly Conquers the World Tour. She still has to tackle Climb Kilimanjaro, Take a Painting Class, and Go to Law School. Unfortunately, Become a Rockette is out. "They said I was too short."