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Bill Scheft
October 18, 2004
Good to be here. Hey, great news. BALCO is six weeks away from developing a lactose-free steroid cream.
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October 18, 2004

The Show

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Oklahoma blanked Texas 12--0. Freshman Adrian Peterson ran for 225 yards and was so dominant, Paul Tagliabue put five federal judges on speed dial.

By the end of the game the Longhorns were desperate. Twice Mack Brown asked for a measurement on Jason White's eligibility.

White is in his sixth year at OU. Even the guy on his Heisman Trophy is wearing a red shirt.

Elsewhere, Michigan edged Minnesota 27--24. There was even more at stake this year. The Little Brown Jug was filled with the flu shot vaccine.

Steelers rout Browns 34--23 Pittsburgh is unbeaten with rookie QB Ben Roethlisberger starting. He's come on so strong in the last three weeks, the Steelers' home turf is now known as Heinz Kerry Field.

A woman filed a paternity suit against Ricky Williams. Well, Ricky really wasn't kidding when he said he felt as if he had no protection.

Williams is discussing a possible return to active status in the NFL. He'll either receive a one-year suspension or go on the IR with glaucoma.

NASCAR penalizes the bleep out of Dale Earnhardt Jr. Earnhardt was fined $10,000 and lost 25 Nextel points for cursing on-air. Believe me, the punishment could have been worse. NBC could have imposed a five-second delay on his pit crew.

Dale Jr. or, as he's known, Little E. Not to be confused with Jamal Lewis: Little Plea.

Don Cherry endorsing a line of mouthguards If you're European, they leave a bad taste.

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