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You've seen films of the Kennedy family playing Thanksgiving touch football, right? Bobby going long and chowder for everybody?
Big freakin' beans.
The Reillys would've kicked the Kennedys' butts at Thanksgiving touch football. And do you know why?
Nothing is beneath us. It's not unusual to hear in the huddle, "Everybody go out 10 yards and fake a seizure."
Reillys will come to the line and pelt you with snowballs to get open. Throw grass in your face, underwear, even raw vegetables. Once, we formed an entire high-kicking Rockettes' chorus line to block for my son Kellen.
"All good backyard Thanksgiving football games must involve cheating," says Archie Manning, who, with two NFL No. 1 draftees for sons and himself a Heisman Trophy finalist, probably ran history's greatest family touch game, "but never until third down."
Pah! Reillys start cheating 364 days before the game, getting ready.
During one game, family friend Leslie had to leave early. O.K., happy Thanksgiving, see ya later. Exactly three minutes later my nephew dropped back to pass. All his receivers went short, but, inexplicably, he heaved one all the way to the end zone, where, to our shock, Leslie stood, grinning madly. She had driven down the block, sneaked through a neighbor's backyard, hopped two fences and hid behind a bush until the big moment.
(Problem was, she dropped the ball.)