Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops claims ESPN has an "agenda" that favors the SEC Hey, keep talking like that and you'll get a spot in President Bush's cabinet.
Meanwhile, Joe Paterno is starting to talk about a plan of succession at Penn State. Here's where it gets weird. He wants to coach until 2008, then turn it over to Conan O'Brien.
Hootie Johnson denied reports that Steve Spurrier would get a membership at Augusta if he takes over for Lou Holtz at South Carolina. Wouldn't it be great if Hootie had to check with his wife first?
Nationals sign Vinny Castilla and Cristian Guzman O.K., that takes care of the left side of the infield. Now, all they need is the actual infield.
Last week Pedro Martinez met with George Steinbrenner. Wait a minute. Did this receive approval from Child Services?
The Brewers signed Pat Borders to a minor league contract. Well, that certainly proves they're committed to winning--in 1994.
Lightning receives Stanley Cup rings The team picked them up in a specially designated line at the Tampa Department of Labor.
Actually, the players received the rings in the basement of the St. Pete Times Forum. And then they all left on their paper routes.
Thanks to the lockout, attendance at CFL games increased noticeably. And the new fans love that there's no red line.
New York City cites success of Republican Convention as proof it can host 2012 Olympics Yeah, once you've rigged up a decent sound system, pepper-sprayed protesters and perfected the balloon drop, you're ready for the Games.