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As for Hank, he's really kept his shape [harbor buoy] and is ranked nationally in Masters swimming. [He's 342,211th in his age group.] He really stepped up his training [drinking] and his charitable work [court-ordered community service] this year. He's such a good dad. He's made a real effort to cut back on travel to spend more time with the family. [He had to. The ankle bracelet keeps him within city limits.]
Overall, I feel lucky to have made so many new friends this year [Narcotics Anonymous], but of course I promise not to lose touch with the old ones [ Gamblers Anonymous].
Anyway, all of us here at Chez Bragmoor want to wish you the very best this holiday season, even Puddles. [If you find him, will you call? During that whole mess with the sheriffs, he bit Helmut and bolted.]
[Wish he'd taken me with him.]
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