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Fifth Annual Too True To Be Good
Steve Rushin
December 26, 2005
For 12 long months, Steve Rushin rummaged the depths of sports to unearth these nuggets of surreal news from 2005
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December 26, 2005

Fifth Annual Too True To Be Good

For 12 long months, Steve Rushin rummaged the depths of sports to unearth these nuggets of surreal news from 2005

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CHIVALRY IS OFFICIALLY DEAD

Asked why he hasn't accepted any of the NBA assistant coaching jobs that he's been offered, Scottie Pippen told the Chicago Sun-Times, "They weren't the right fit.... Every time a girl looks at you is no reason to take her out for a date. Some you might just bring to your room."

NOW STAY TUNED FOR UPCOMING SCENES FROM THE LITTLEST GROOM

After Vikings receiver Randy Moss pantomimed mooning fans in Green Bay during a wild-card playoff game, Fox announcer Joe Buck said, "That's a disgusting act by Randy Moss, and it's unfortunate we had it on our air live."

SHE GOT LOOSE IN TURN 3

NASCAR announced a joint venture with the publisher Harlequin to produce a series of romance novels centered on stock car racing.

MAGIC JOHNSON

When Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was stopped at an airport checkpoint, guards found the Original Whizzinator--a prosthetic penis designed to fool drug testers--stowed in his luggage.

"AND I DON'T LIKE JALEN'S GARDEN EITHER"

Asked by the Detroit Free Press what he'd say to President Bush when the Pistons visited the White House, forward Rasheed Wallace replied, "I don't have [expletive] to say to him."

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