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Table Types
ERIK BARMACK
September 04, 2006
The same personalities pop up at draft after draft. Recognizing their foibles will give you an edge
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September 04, 2006

Table Types

The same personalities pop up at draft after draft. Recognizing their foibles will give you an edge

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A SUCCESSFUL fantasy football draft goes beyond selecting the best players. You must also understand your fellow drafters. They're your enemies, and they all have specific strengths and weaknesses and buttons to be pushed. Knowing their drafting tendencies will put you at a distinct advantage.

But this requires understanding the profound psychodynamics of fantasy football. We've spent countless hours diagramming the personalities of our fellow managers, and we believe that among all the different, zany and unpredictable drafters out there, consistent behavior patterns emerge. If you investigate closely, even the savviest drafter becomes predictable.

THE OUT-OF-DATE CHEAT-SHEET DRAFTER

HE'S A CONDEMNED man thrown to the lions for our amusement. He means well, has a good heart and tries in earnest. But a man is only as good as his weaponry, and this guy has come armed with a slingshot and pebbles. The inevitable result of this flaccid drafting artillery is his selecting a retired, cut or injured player. Remarkably, that guy is often Ricky Watters. We can't explain why.

How could this happen? Most often this drafter is simply lazy. And his laziness leads him to a batch of fantasy football magazines that go to print a week after the previous season's Super Bowl. Seeking justification for his purchase, our sheeplike friend eyes the early-fall display until date, which suggests the information remains current up through his draft.

Evil, evil magazines they are.

On draft day this train wreck is easy to identify. Simply listen for the rapid rustling of papers. This is the sound of the Out-of-Date Cheat-Sheet Drafter's flailing. Sure, he'll be fine like everyone else in the beginning. But he'll start to unravel by round 6.

THE OVERPREPARED EGGHEAD

HE ROLLS INTO the conference room 10 minutes before the draft, feeling preposterously overconfident. He's conducted more research and done more analysis than anyone else. There isn't a statistic he doesn't know.

He scans the room, slow-blinking at everyone. Then he boots up his laptop and taps rapidly on his keyboard. Up pop a slew of numbers, complicated formulas and colored charts. None of this really means anything, but it looks impressive to the untrained eye. The other managers steal glances at his monitor.

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