fantasy football draft goes beyond selecting the best players. You must also
understand your fellow drafters. They're your enemies, and they all have
specific strengths and weaknesses and buttons to be pushed. Knowing their
drafting tendencies will put you at a distinct advantage.
But this requires
understanding the profound psychodynamics of fantasy football. We've spent
countless hours diagramming the personalities of our fellow managers, and we
believe that among all the different, zany and unpredictable drafters out
there, consistent behavior patterns emerge. If you investigate closely, even
the savviest drafter becomes predictable.
HE'S A CONDEMNED
man thrown to the lions for our amusement. He means well, has a good heart and
tries in earnest. But a man is only as good as his weaponry, and this guy has
come armed with a slingshot and pebbles. The inevitable result of this flaccid
drafting artillery is his selecting a retired, cut or injured player.
Remarkably, that guy is often Ricky Watters. We can't explain why.
How could this
happen? Most often this drafter is simply lazy. And his laziness leads him to a
batch of fantasy football magazines that go to print a week after the previous
season's Super Bowl. Seeking justification for his purchase, our sheeplike
friend eyes the early-fall display until date, which suggests the information
remains current up through his draft.
magazines they are.
On draft day this
train wreck is easy to identify. Simply listen for the rapid rustling of
papers. This is the sound of the Out-of-Date Cheat-Sheet Drafter's flailing.
Sure, he'll be fine like everyone else in the beginning. But he'll start to
unravel by round 6.
HE ROLLS INTO the
conference room 10 minutes before the draft, feeling preposterously
overconfident. He's conducted more research and done more analysis than anyone
else. There isn't a statistic he doesn't know.
He scans the
room, slow-blinking at everyone. Then he boots up his laptop and taps rapidly
on his keyboard. Up pop a slew of numbers, complicated formulas and colored
charts. None of this really means anything, but it looks impressive to the
untrained eye. The other managers steal glances at his monitor.