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DIARY OF A WASHINGTON REDSKIN SPY:
Spylog, Tuesday, Jan. 8: I'm not so sure about this. Look, I've done the Kremlin, the Lebanese embassy, even Madonna's house, but this San Francisco 49er practice facility is the toughest nut to crack yet. I actually had to climb a eucalyptus tree just to get a look inside today. Unfortunately, 49er coach George Seifert had his security staff chase me out before I could get any good pictures. While I was able to slip away without being identified, it was embarrassing to read in all of the papers that I had been sighted.
"Honest to God, there was somebody in that tree," Seifert told the media. "This just shows the kind of environment we're living in."
Spylog, Wednesday, Jan. 9: Seifert admits he's getting "very paranoid," and I like to think I'm part of it. Today, I tried the Fuji blimp. Seifert and his guys glared at mc, but what could they do? Rent a chase blimp? Unfortunately, from a circling blimp, it is difficult to tell a tight end from a Gatorade cooler.
Not that I think we Redskins will have any trouble with the 49ers come Saturday. Seriously. You could bail out Pan Am with the money you would make betting on us. Everybody knows we're the hot team now. We've won five of our last six, and that included the girl everybody wanted to take to the Super Ball, the Philadelphia Eagles. We stuffed their corsage-down their throat.
The Niners? Get bent. They're about as in as eight-track tapes. These guys are just waiting to be driven to the Hall of Fame dinner. They've been flat. Joe Montana, 34, has played 30 minutes in the last three weeks and a lousy 30 minutes at that. Ronnie Lott, 31, hasn't played in four weeks. Roger Craig, 30, has been spelled by somebody named Dexter Carter, for cripes' sake.
Spylog, Thursday, Jan. 10: Today I flew over the Niner practice field in a helicopter. Seifert got so flustered he told somebody to go get a starter's pistol to fire at the chopper, but nobody could find him one. You think I'm going to be scared by a starter's pistol? Who am I, Carl Lewis?
Spylog, Friday, Jan. 11: This baby is in the bag. Seifert even went up to Mark Purdy, columnist for the San Jose Mercury News, and said, "I read your story on how Joe Montana is better than Mark Rypien. Thanks a lot for motivating Washington." Uh-oh. Somebody call Reuters, NEWSFLASH: MONTANA SAID TO BE BETTER THAN RYPIEN!
Everybody knows our coach, Joe Gibbs, will think circles around Seifert. Have you ever seen Gibbs lose when he holes up in his office for a week with his X's and O's and his hot plate? It snowed four inches in Washington, yet four days later, Gibbs's car was still sitting there, under a pile of snow. This is a lock, baby.
Spylog, Saturday, Jan. 12: This is not the team I saw from the blimp. This Montana, he was fantastic. Old? He was as frisky as a second-year guy. He threw on the run. He hit guys that didn't even know they were open.